The sunrise alarm clock next to my couch was in full rise at 2:30 AM Thursday morning. I stirred and grabbed my bible and journal, peacefully opening up my morning. Psalm 27 gave me great encouragement, while reading in Exodus left me in a cliff hanger as Moses and Aaron are just beginning the plead to Pharaoh “let my people go.” I started to wash my face and then a light tap on the door separating Gram’s quarters alerted me. She needed me to open her bottle of Zicam. After a couple of unsuccessful turns, I got it un-child-locked, and she recovered back to her Queen’s room.

Dutchy is accustomed to my trips, but her big sad brown eyes never get easier to leave. She put her paw on my shoulder as I pet her ears and reminded her only two sleeps before I see her again. Yes, only two sleeps, but today will have 4 states of travel involved followed by a 3-hour drive tomorrow morning. Ah the life of planes, trains and automobiles. The Denver airport greeted me this morning when I landed at 9:00 AM, and here I am, back again, waiting to board at 6:00 PM. I’m slightly delayed going to Salt Lake City, so I decided to write.

Call it lack of sleep, or bursts of inspiration, I had a lot of emotion about what to write about this week. Yet, it was tough to write. I’ve gotten to rope a lot the past few days, which keeps me in remembrance of my journey, where it started, and who it started with. I’ve grown even more thankful for my beautiful bay gelding, Cash, as he is enjoying every steer we get to run, but still remembering to do his job, too. He knew the horse I learned to team rope on, as they were on the same ranch for some time. They both are similar in a lot of ways, though Disco was Sorrel and had much stronger opinions than Cash.

Disco was about 18 and had been there done that. We met on September 23, 2020, about a month after I had moved to Montana. He hazed steers, barrel raced, and was one heck of a head horse. He was one of my first friends, though he had his quirks. You couldn’t hard-tie him because he would pull back; a similarity he shares with Cash. The first day I caught him to ride out alone, I had his oats in the feeder, gently wrapping the lead rope around the post. When I came back out of the tack room with his saddle blanket, he was gone. Not trotting, but at a rate of walking I couldn’t keep up with. He was sure to let me know this was not his first rodeo. And on the other hand, it felt like mine.

After coaxing him to stop with a can of oats, my mind raced but then calmed down. If all he does is walk away from me, that should be the worst thing that happens today. He treated me well, though I knew nothing. I was athletic enough to stay on him, but not yet coordinated enough to understand how to stay with him. I probably looked like the tin man trying to ride, stiff and on the muscle. Fortunately, the family who had taken me under their wing had plenty of horses to ride, and safe for me to learn on. Kelly must have seen something in me, or was happy to have someone to help feed, or maybe both.

November 24, 2020, I got to chase my first steer. It was a weird feeling, not really understanding what I needed to do as a rider other than swing my rope. But it was a step in the right direction. The next progressive step was to start with my rope on in the chute, dally, and turn off. It helped me understand a lot more about my positioning, and the feel of what a live run would be like. December 19, I got to turn my first steer, and Kelly’s husband, John, had two feet. My first run was under my belt.

That first one was a feeling I would never forget, though, being a beginner adult is not an easy task. I reminded myself that because I was an adult beginning fresh, I didn’t have any bad habits. I wrote on a note card in my pocket positive affirmations like, “I trust my horse, and he trusts me.” I had faith in God that he brought me to this sport, but Disco fueled my faith to keep showing up. I was thankful for every practice and entry I got to make on him the summer of 2021. Eventually, Disco took a bad step later that fall, and that ended our time together. He went on to be a kid’s horse for a short while until he went home.

I had bought Cash several months after Disco was no longer able to be my horse, but I never took for granted what Disco had taught me. I learned later I was the only person he never bucked off, though he came close to it. He believed in me more than I believed in myself at times, and sometimes I don’t know why. He was the teammate I needed, never let me quit, and encouraged my faith in the beginning of my team roping career. As I thought about him, it gut checked my faith at my current moment. Do I have faith for where I’m at today? Or am I still relying on the beginning faith I had when I was riding Disco?

It was a big week for another team roper in Nebraska, which again made me think of Disco. Nebraska’s head volleyball coach, John Cook, announced his retirement. He quickly and quietly announced it in a way that had all of us asking, why? And in his press conference, I don’t think he could have said anything better. His reasons were heart-felt, wanting to focus more time with his family. As for the sport, he had accomplished everything he could in 25 years, except maybe win more games. His program and his team is the best, and he wanted to hand it off at a high moment, and not on his way out. He mentioned moments of confirmation and conviction, including his mentor, Tom Osborne, also serving 25 years in his coaching career. Job well done, Cowboy.

When he was asked about his favorite memories, John went back to the memories that had the most heart. And his lasting life lesson to his players: “Dream Big.” As I drove out through the desolate Salt Flats, nearing Nevada, I thought of the moments I had decided to dream big, and gut checked myself with where my faith was to continue them. His words reminded me of the confidence and conviction I had when I started riding Disco at the very beginning. It reminded me of the leap of faith I took shifting my career. He reminded me of the big move from Montana to Nebraska, which shattered the lies that I had told myself that I needed to be in Montana in order to be a team roper. Sometimes we start the dreams big, but then sink back or grow weary, thinking “will it ever happen?” Dreams don’t grow big without faith.

I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:  henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day:  and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.  2 Tim 4:7-8

Six days before the drive across the Salt Flats, I was at a celebration of life for my Pastor’s father. Pastor Paul spoke about his dad, as well as his two brothers, and his best friend. And they all spoke of how great his faith was. I think often times we assume people of great faith always had it. This was not the case, as the family didn’t grow up in church. One of the brothers spoke of their past, and how it was because of a woman of great faith who prayed and fasted for two years that his entire family was saved. Many of them pastored churches, and had great impact on lives in their communities and beyond.

Faith started his great journey, and faith completed it. Everyone who spoke was truly celebrating what his life meant, and what great joy there was in knowing he was with Jesus. I was undone in my seat thinking of the Jesus that I pray to is handing a crown of righteousness to someone in heaven. I get to meet with the King of Glory. He meets me every day I call upon him in my race, and He will meet me at the finish line.

This week reminded me of all the segments of our race which require faith. And I think that’s why Timothy reminded us to “keep the faith.” The beginning of our dreams and callings require faith to start. But, we can’t rely on the initial moment of faith to carry us to the finish line. Otherwise, the dream will start big, but eventually whither away because it’s trying to survive on the faith to say yes instead of the faith to continue. When we do, faith carries us through to big accomplishments. We must also have faith to move on from them, and accept the next chapter of where God needs us. And in the end, it is faith that keeps us until that last step across the finish line where the King of Glory has a crown of righteousness to ALL who seek Him. Keep growing, and dreaming big this week, but most of all, have faith.