The bottom of my jeans and socks are soaked and dirty. My hands are dry and cracked after scrubbing every inch on my horse trailer. My 2024 Hart has been more than just a horse trailer. It was my first big asset purchase, besides my horse. Inside, I have a desk and shelves with an A/C and a large picture window where I love to work, write, pray, or just sit and think. But it’s time for a new thing.

Several previous blog posts have clued readers in on what started Wild Hearted Drifter. The Cliff-Notes version is while I was cleaning out my closet in my house in Helena, God asked me if I would move an item into my living quarter’s horse trailer. The conversation spurred into prayers that were later answered with the right job, the right dealership, and the right timing. And now, I’m preparing to move full-time into living-quarter’s living.

Before I started cleaning, there was part of me that was hesitant, almost nervous. Here, my living quarters is getting her finishing touches, and I’m on the other side wondering am I sure? I own one horse. I’m still new to this whole thing. Where will I go? What if I don’t have anywhere to go? The games our minds will play if we let them. No doubt, this was fear, again, trying to rear its ugly head, reminding me of past questions that I don’t need to answer to. I answer to faith.

Knowing that this calling is authentic and real was the first step. I’ve been waiting well for it to come to pass. And now, it’s time for a new thing. But what happens when you get ready to step into a new thing, and your past tries to convince you otherwise? I think we all have fought those battles, mostly mentally. But sometimes our peers can try and remind us of who we once were and again, question if we are authentically living the life we have been called to.

In the post, “The Cost of Authenticity,” I wrote about being unrecognizable by my hometown when I started to really change my life for who God wanted me to be. Now, I am the queen of hair color and cut changes, but let me tell you, the outside change will never compensate for the work that happens on the inside. You can instantly make the decision to be a new person and be renewed by the healing waters of forgiveness. But consecration is going to be asked of you every single day. And you’ll be tested in it. The outside world doesn’t care if you look the part. Have you done the heart work?

At times I’ve thought that temptation would go away, like once you pass the test, you won’t have to see it again. Wrong. The temptation of the past can come in many ways, trying to remind us of who we once were, and I don’t know if that ever does stop. But I do know that the way I respond to it does. Fear has been broken off of me, quite physically, and I promised I would never pick it up again. Whenever I catch a thought operating in a fear mindset, I don’t give it a chance to set roots. I respond quickly by silencing the thought and firming my faith.

Some past reminders seem harmless. When I had not yet made the firm decision to quit drinking, I could have a beer or two, and think, “see, I’m fine.” But the reality was, I wasn’t. My mind was ravenous, wanting more. But I didn’t want more. It was a constant battle to choose to not pick up another drink, even though my body didn’t even like the feeling. The lukewarm “one foot in, one foot out” didn’t work for me. And lukewarm is a dangerous place to be.

Lukewarm lets us operate in thinking we are new while remaining comfortable with everything that should have been left behind. Leaving everything behind that needs to stay in the past is hard. I know it is. But you can’t get to where you’re going if you’re still shackled to what held you hostage in the last season. And that includes what is good, too. Sometimes I’ve thought about seasons where my life was easy, it flowed, and didn’t require me to sacrifice anything. But if I hold onto that season, even if it was good, I stay lukewarm. I can’t move onto the next new thing, because I’m still relying on a past revelation or victory to carry through to my next mountain. The medal you earn from crossing one finish line means nothing to the next race you’re required to run.

When I lay down on my 5-foot couch at night, sometimes I think, how many more nights will it be until I’m in my new trailer? It’s been humbling sleeping on this little couch, living out of a couple of cupboards and a hanging rack that could fit in my pickup. This new trailer will give me new space physically, but mentally, I have a choice to step into that new mindset every day. At times, I’ve had to stop myself from thinking, “Well, when I get my new trailer I’ll be able to…” It’s a limited mindset. Sure, I will be full of gratitude for my own space, but I can create my own space, make room, and have gratitude for where I am now, too.

“Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

Discerning the times for a new thing in your life comes with an awareness of the seasons. And I’m not talking about physical seasons. Sometimes we put parameters on what we need our lives to look like before a new thing springs forth. Sure, being prepared to walk into a new thing is imminent. But our awareness of the timing of God in it is everything. He knows what He is going to bring you to. Will you walk with Him? Or wait for your own eyes to see. Faith doesn’t need to see it. Faith declares it. Faith says, I see that road God that you have given me in this wilderness, and I’m going to walk with you. Faith says, Lord, I’m in this desert and you are going to lead me to the rivers of living water.

Don’t get so caught up in thinking the new thing has to all be curated by you before you walk into it. Discern the times. And heighten your awareness. Be ready. Be willing. And be full of faith. You have to shut down the voice of fear, and walk by faith for what you won’t be able to see with your natural eyes.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Divinely guaranteed. Doesn’t get any surer than that. If you’ve been hoping for what God has placed on your heart, you don’t need the evidence that He’s going to do it. You need the faith that He is doing it. God guarantees what we hear from Him. And He wants to bless you, and give you that new thing. I am so full of praise that He is doing this new thing for me, including selling my loved Hart trailer so I can get into my new one. It is time. And since He is no decider of persons, I know He will do a new thing for you, too.